Perfect
by pepperikeys
Summary: Kagome Stops eating all together Because of a comment Inuyasha makes. Now her new motto is Your never skinny enough Things go to far and Inuyasha finds her passed out in her room he realizes she has a problem. But what can you do when they dont want the h
1. Chapter 1

Perfect

By Pepperikeys

Chapter 1: Never good Enough

Disclaimer: still dont own anything

_Yes I'm Back and im not dead! Well yes here is a new story i think ill put most of my time on this one...i hope everyone enjoys this story!!_

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Its started only a few months ago. At first it was only little things that drove me to do what im doing. Thoughts erupted my mind, telling me that the reason he didn't love me the way he loved _her_ was because she was so _perfect_. My mind told me i would never be as pretty or talented as her, never be as calm, elegant as her or skinny and then i thought i dont need all those factors for him to love me. But things started getting worse.

He called me by her name one day and to be honest it hurt, it really hurt. Im not even sure he realized it, I just let the statement slip by me.

Then one night while he was sleeping i heard him call out her name and i felt my heart shatter i never felt that pain before, it all started that very moment.

Day after day i felt a little piece of me die, ever time i heard him call out her name in his sleep my heart would shatter just a little more.

Soon i realized that ever little part of me that died was replaced by nothing. Its hard to explain how i feel inside if i were to put it in words the only way i could describe it would be; A pain that grow ever passing second, its like a ball of bad energy settling into the pit of my stomach swirling nonstop, eating away at my very soul.

The pain was building inside me but was pushed me over the edge was one simple comment.

"Damn Kagome your getting harder to carry, what the hell have you been eating?"

That ball of energy burst and all i could feel was pure misery and i realized that i would never be the same again.

I had drop so low.

I had Depression.

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I stood half clothed in front of the fool length mirror that hanged from my bedroom door glancing at the pale body it reflected.

'Maybe what he said is a hint, maybe he was telling me to loose some weight.' She frowned at the reflection in the mirror in disgust, maybe it was just her but the image that she was seeing was absolutely repulsive.

All she could see was accent fat hanging from her body, she pinched her thigh appalled. 'I bet Kikyo doesn't have all this fat on her legs, I bet Inuyasha feels disgusted when all this fat touches him while he's carrying me." She thought bitterly 'I bet when people see me they are really thinking im a fat disgusting waste of a human soul.' She looked down at her leg and the "fat" between her two fingers.

"Ugh Kagome stop thinking this way there's nothing you can do about it." She gave her thigh a gentle last squeeze before letting go of the skin and returning her hand back to her side.

_Your just saying that.' _A voice cut in out of no where.

"What the..." Kagome sputtered awkwardly as her eyes swept over her empty room.

'_I said your just saying that' _ The voice replied sounding slightly annoyed at Kagomes comment.

"Who are you?" Kagome asked as she grabbed a pale blue shirt off her bed and slipped it over her head

'_That's not a important matter' _ The voice stated in a sly tone.

Kagome knobbed slowly while she walked crossed the room to her closet, her feet seemed to melt into the carpets warmth.

"I think im finally loosing it." She muttered under her breath as she slide the white open.

She taped her right foot gently on the rug as she cast her eyes to the skirts that were neatly hung on the far left side of the rack.

The voice chuckled at her comment _'Perhaps you are Kagome, perhaps you are.'_

Kagome pulled out a short white skirt off the rack and shut the door behind her.

She walked back over to her bed and sat the skirt on her pink flowered comforter.

Calmly she gathered her shirt in her hands and rolled it up to just about where her bra would be seen. She glanced down slowly oh yeah she could see her stomach perfectly, it and all its fat glory.

'_Disgusting!' _She voice made a gagging sound at the back of its throat.

Kagome ignored the voices out burst and carried on with her task. Angrily she snatched the skirt from her bed and stepped into it and began inching it up her legs slowly.

'_Ew! What the hell do you think your doing? That skirt shows off those fat stubs you call legs, do you want people to see those lumps of cottage cheese?"_ The voice yelled disgustedly at her.

Kagome stopped midway to her thighs and looked down. Now that she thought about it the skirt did show off her legs a little more then expected.

The voice was right, her leg looked like matching blimps. She didn't want people to have to look at them like she did.

'_You should just stop eating all together do us all a favor maybe you'll loose some pounds and wont be so fat."_ The voice coldly commented

Kagome discarded the skirt and stumbled to her closet 'Its right im a disgrace maybe if i do stop eating ill become as skinny as Kikyo and Inuyasha will be pleased with me.' She thought as she quickly opened the closet door and began searching around for some baggy clothes.

'_Ever heard of Anorexia?'_ The voice asked in a low tone.

Pulling out a pair of dark blue sweat pants and a black baggy shirt from the closet Kagome sat back onto her feet and stared off into space thinking.

Of course she heard of a anorexia, she never really thought about it but at the moment it sounded like music to her ears.

She never seen want was so wrong with it...in a way she always thought that those skinny girls look so...perfect.

Maybe...

'_You know you want to, you want to become skinny its what you long for.'_ The voice teased.

It was perfect its not like it could really hurt her and maybe she wouldn't feel so...ashamed of her body anymore.

"What ever." She groaned out and slipped her pants on and covered up her legs in a rush to hide them from the world.

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Inuyasha watched as she began putting on her clothes, He felt so dirty watching like all those dirty old men that watch her when she passes or something.

But he couldn't help it She looked so perfect to him. Not just him by lots of guys, he hated it when they mutter things when she passes by them like "I would love to spend i night alone with her." or "Look at that body, god damn." He felt himself growl in the back of his throat.

"Damn it all!" He breathed out as his nails dug into the tree branch that he sat on.

'What is she doing to me?' He thought silently.

She was taking over his life, she was all he could think about for a while now. When he was around her he couldn't stop looking at her and when she was gone she was all that was on his mind.

He knew he was falling for her for a while now but now there's no going back, and if his feeling get out in the open he was 100 sure that most of his enemy's would go after her.

But now even if he knew that he likes her more then he should he still has Kikyo to deal with and it was confusing him who did he really want? Who meant more to him?

He decided that he will try to push Kagome away...Kikyo can handle herself from all the demons, but Kagome could be in more danger. He called her Kikyo a few weeks ago...and no it wasn't on accident he did it on purpose. He seen that it hurt her, but its what he feels he has to do to have push her away.

He called her fat a day ago...and she left back to her own time. He went a little to fair that time He was here to take her back.

"What ever." her soft voice broke him out of his thoughts.

He watched as she walked over to that "desk" of hers and laid her head in her arms.

His Golden eyes softened 'I must have hurt her really bad this time.' Oh god he felt like a big jerk now.

Letting out a sigh he reached out his right hand and taped the glass window lightly

Kagome turned her head a little to the side to get a full sight of her bedroom window. Her midnight blue eyes landed on the white haired golden eyed Hanyou out side her window.

Closing her eyes she turned her head back into her arms fully 'Oh god he's probably here to tell me how worthless i am.' she felt her lips curve up a tiny bit. she let out a empty chuckle.

God when did she start having low self esteem?

'_Probably when you started being depressed, comes together like a package, ya know."_ The voice laughed at its own statement.

There was another tap at her window followed by a low muscular voice.

"Damn it Kagome just open the god damned window already." Inuyasha yelled from the window still tapping on it with his sharp claw.

Letting out a sigh kagome slid her wooden chair back and used her desk to push herself up.

She slid a loose strand of black hair behind her ear and turned towards Inuyasha.

'Her eyes...they look so sad.' Inuyasha thought to himself did he do that to her? He looked away from her as she walked from crossed the room and stood in front of him.

He saw her let out another sigh before she reached for a small wedge on top of the window before she pushed the glass upward and stepped to the right side giving him access to enter.

Inuyasha climbed in gracefully and turned to look at her.

She couldn't look at him, he was probably thinking about how much she looked like Kikyo and how much better she was she didn't have flaws like Kagome did.

"I came to get you come on lets go." Inuyasha let out a sigh 'She cant even look at me'

She knobbed her head sadly and turned to grab her yellow bag from beside her wooden desk.

He didn't know what he was doing his hand reached out all on its own. She stopped when his hand collided with her shoulder.

"What's up with the change of clothes, what happened to all those skirts you wear?" He asked. Not that he minds that she stopped wearing those short skirts.

Kagome look down and watched as her hands fiddled with the hem of her over sized shirt that hide her curvy body.

"I just dont want people to look at to much of my skin." and fat' She said nervously.

Inuyasha narrowed his eyes at her before tucking his arms into his sleeves "What ever just start packing." He said coldly adding a Feh at the end and then turned around and looked out her window down at the well house.

'_What better time to start now right? Next thing you know you'll be cutting yourself...your pathetic no wonder your the way you are, never good enough." _The voice was laughing at her again.

Kagome sucked in a breath of air though her teeth. she felt like crying she felt like screaming oh she just felt tired...it was going to be a long week.

"Im ready!" She turned around smoothly and gave Inuyasha the brightest smile she could.

Yup it was going to be a really long week.

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So how was that for a first chapter? I hope you all liked it...i need 5 reviews to update :D. So review please!!!!

ok so if your confused ill explain some stuff.

One Kagome is NOT fat.

She is suffering from a distorted body image When you see yourself in a way that others dont.

Heres some information on the subject

Someone with anorexia may also have a distorted body image, shown by thinking she or he is fat, wearing baggy clothes, weighing her or himself many times a day, and fearing weight gain.

Anorexia can also cause someone to not act like her or himself. She or he may talk about weight and food all the time, not eat in front of others, be moody or sad, or not want to go out with friends.

Ok now that that's straighten out. Please review!!! Until next time!!! BYE!!!!


	2. Starving

Sorry for the long wait...kinda got busy in school...but hey look i updated!! thank you all for reviewing...i love you all!! ENJOY!!! 

Disclaimer: Me still no owny

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Perfect

By Pepperikeys

Chapter 2

"Starving"

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_Starving myself to maybe get a feel,_

_in hope that perhaps i just might slowly heal._

_For who said its bad to skip one or two small meals?_

_(By Stephanie AKA Pepperikeys)_

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"Okay wench, get moving!" Snapping out of her thoughts the raven haired teen slowly began climbing onto the back of the red clad body crouched in front of her bedroom window.

Feeling the added weight on his back Inuyasha gracefully stood to his feet, His firm grip moved to hold her knees to him as creamy slim arms wrapped around his neck and came to a rest between his breast.

'Oh god Kagome.' His two gold eyes slid close savoring the feeling of her warm small body molding perfectly into his. His left hand gently caressed her covered leg.

A quiet growl formed in the back of his throat realizing the cloth covering her legs acted as a barrier preventing him from making contact with her warm soft skin.

With a heavy sigh he stepped onto her window pane and stepped off sending the two to fall to the ground two stories below.

Wind whipped around strains of silver and black hair which slapped the young girls face a few times in the process.

His touch has always sent shivers down her spine and when she says touch she just meant like...an accidental feel of skin or something like that but now _he_ started doing stuff like...that it confused her. Not that she doesn't enjoy it she loved it, it just confuses her.

She felt a shatter run though her body at the thought of how she would have felt if her pants didn't prevent the caress from touching skin.

She clamped her eyes shut hoping he didn't feel the shudder vibrate though her body, pieces of his hair slapped her in the face lightly. with a frown she nuzzled her face into his thick silver hair. 'Mmmm smells like rain forest..' Slowly the frown formed into a small smile.

Inuyasha smirked happily at the girls actions, he loved it when he was this close to her it was pure bliss.

His legs walked slowly when he came up the old wooden well house. Unwillingly he dropped the girls legs waiting for her to get down.

His eyes widened as she slowly, ever so slowly _slipped_ off his back which caused her body to slide down his back in such a way it left him gasping.

Stifling a moan he breathed in a large breath of cold winters air and followed her down the steps that lead to the ancient well.

'Does she know what she does to me...damnit i cant i _wont_ have these feelings for her!' The frustrating words drifted all though his mind.

His eyes trailed over her body slowly before they rested on her blank face.

Out of the corner of her eye she could see Inuyasha's wandering eyes look her up in down with a silly smile on his face.

_You cant actually believe he likes you, can you? _It was that voice again, its cold sarcastic tone mixed with disgust.

Wiping all emotion from her face in thought Kagome stared darkly into the wells pit. 'Why are you here?' She asked sternly.

_Just jump into the well girly _Its commanded her in the same voice she used.

Obediently She knobbed her head and threw her toned legs over the side of the well and sat on the rim of the well quickly looking over her shoulder at Inuyasha she shot him her best smile showing off a pair of white sparkling teeth before disappearing into a light purple light.

Inuyasha heaved a sigh and followed her example and to vanished into the light.

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Kagome grabbed onto one of the green vines between her delicate hands and halted her self up with a grunt, she threw down her yellow backpack knowing that Inuyasha would take it up for her.

There was a soft brunt behind her and a moment later two strong arms wrapped around her waste she let out a squeal as she felt herself being hurled through the air.

Wet grass crunched under the couples feet, there eyes met for a slight moment slight tints of pink spread cross there cheeks, they both looked away from each other in a quick fluid movement.

Still a little bashful Kagome awkwardly couched trying to make best of the situation. "Well...ugh lets go then." With that the girl turned away and began walking the path that eventually reaches Kaede's village.

The dazed look in Inuyasha's gold eyes vanished fast as he ran behind the stubborn girl. "Hey, wench You cant walk alone threw the forest at night like this, you could get yourself killed..." He looked down at her with a scowl on his full lips his eyes though betrayed him and flashed with concern.

His height caused him to tower over her, making her feel small _very_ small. Pushing that thought into the back of her head she smiled up at him, he looked confused by her action and stepped back from her.

Her smile grew slightly. The trees around them swayed lightly in the winters wind, the air was crisp and smelt of fire wood and rain water.

She stepped closer to him and watched as his cheeks turned from a bronze color to a light red, with a giggle she wrapped her arm around his and entwined there fingers together.

"Lets go, everyone must miss us." She turned to him still smiling. Inuyasha's eyes looked at her with such a softness it hurt her heart.

'I really cant help falling in love with her..' He thought. His lip twitched upward into a lopsided smile she was light a angel sent from heaven just for him.

He followed her his hand still in hers, a comfortable silent covered the two as they made there way un the path .

_I dont see why you even bother. _The voice sighed out.

'What? You just think i can just dispose my feeling just like that?' She imagoned herself snapping her fingers not really sure weather or not the voice could see it...that is if it had eyes.

_Really give it up girl, its never going to happen. _The voice almost sounded sympathetic _almost._

'UGH Your not even listening to me!!!' She yelled in her mind...what part of cant change feelings so fast does it not understand??

_Well la-de-fucking-da, you should at least be able to control your feelings little girl._ It yelled back at her.

SLAP

"MIROKU!!!!" A scream rang out though the night sky.

As the two got closer to the hut they seen Sango hovering over a fallen Miroku who was clutching his nose.

"Sango, My love you should get use to this if you dont then how are you going to ha---" Apparently Sango saw the perverted smile begin to form on his face and punched him hard in the nose.

Miroku landed back onto the ground with a moan of pain.

"I swear on the graves of my family, that if you ever say that again in front of everyone i will make it so that you'll never have a women in that way!" She was flushed red in anger giving the black haired men on the ground one last glare before storming into the wooden hut.

Inuyasha winced at the comment she made...god bad image bad bad image .

Kagome let go of Inuyasha's hand and rushed to Miroku's side with Inuyasha right behind her.

Kagome knelt down next to Miroku and moved his hands away from his nose. "Wow Miroku...wow." She gasped.

His lip was slightly bleeding and a river of blood dripped down his nose and down to the dirt ground. His hair had fallen out of the rubber band that usually ties his hair back leaving it to flow straight.

"She really did a number on you Miroku." Inuyasha said from behind Kagome "What did you do?" He laughed at little but stopped when he received a heated glare from Kagome.

"I dont wanna talk about it." Miroku mumbled wiping the blood from his mouth, spiting some of the blood out of his mouth in the process.

Getting up he dusted his purple and black robe off. "I better go talk to her.." With that he followed his fiancé into the hut.

Mumbling could be herd in the hut, a few angry yells, and maybe some crying.

Soon the two came out holding each other.

"I would have never brought it up if i knew how you felt." Miroku stated to Sango who was wrapped into his arms sweetly.

"Im sorry i hurt you so bad Miroku i really didn't mean it you know that." Sango Reached up and moved some of his bangs off his forehead before tucking her head into his neck.

Miroku smiled and his hand inched downward from her back to...a lower part.

Suddenly the demon slayers hand shot out and grabbed his. "One more move and you'll regret it." Her eyes flashed to match her threading tone.

Suddenly Kaede coughed loudly to get all of there attention, a red head poped out from behind the old women's leg.

"Suppers ready!!!" Shippo yelled out and hopped down the stairs with so much energy you could hardly see him move.

Kagome stiffened when his words reached her eyes 'Supper?'

_Let me guess you going to eat it right?_ The voice taunted _Remember what i told you about._

Kagome considered the voices chose 'I'll keep it in mind.' She answered the voice.

Inuyasha walked up to the zoned out girl from the future and lightly taped her forehead. "Your brain finally working? Well dont think so hard might hurt yourself." He smiled at her.

Narrowing her eyes at him she took a deep breath...One...Two...how dare he She grinded her teeth together, three ugh to hell with it "Inuyasha...SIT boy."

Inuyasha let out a awkward EEK which was muffled by the dirt that stuffed into his open mouth.

When the spell wore off her jumped up to his feet and pointed to Kagome who was now setted on a long around the fire.

"WHAT THE HELL!!!" He screamed at her. "If you were Kikyo im sure that would have never happened!" He realized what he said could have hurt her more but he tried not to show that her cared and just sat down next to Shippo who was happily eating some stew in a wooden bowl.

She felt tired, yeah she wouldn't eat tonight all her problems were all because of him and Kikyo...

She sat there ignoring Inuyasha and everyone around her. She lifted her head and looked at the clear stars that filled the midnight blue sky that matched hers.

_Hate to say i told you so, wait...told you so!_ The voice laughed loudly and it rang though her head.

Something warm pressed against her cheat it felt soothing due to the fact that it was in the begingin of winter and the wind was starting to become cold.

Looking down she seen that Sango was holding a bowl of hot soup out to her. She looked down at it in disgust, witch she covered up quickly.

"Its alright, thanks but no thanks im not hungry." she smiled politly at Sango who just shurgged and placed the full bowl in front of Kagome.

Inuyasha let out a growl. She was lying she hasn't eaten all day she was starving he could smell it on her.

"Look wench eat the damn food." He picked up the bowl and shoved it into her hands. Kagome looked down into the meaty stew and watched as carrots and beef and other vegetables flouted in the warm broth.

"Alright.." She whispered, was she really going to fill herself with this...even if its healthy and has some good stuff in it, did that make it good for her to eat?

She took a few bits of some of the food and drank some of the broth but most the time she swirl it around in the bowl, making little pictures with the remaining veggies for her own entertainment.

Inuyasha watched her from the corner of his eye. She barley ate any thing only sat there playing with her food.

It worried him, made him sad how she sat there with that sad look in her eye that look that swiched from annoyed to sad and back again.

_I cant believe you ate some of this...grease!_ The voice grunted out. _You failed already, your worthless. Got any plans on what you'll do now? _The voice asked her.

'I...i think i know what im going to do.' She looked down finding her hand interesting. She pushed the bowl in front of her and muttered a small "im not hungry."

'I'll wait for everyone to go to sleep...' She assured the voice.

Shippo was the first to go off to sleep, the fire was beginning to go out and the wind was picking up.

With jaw splitting yawn Sango stood and stretched out her body not noticing Mirokus dazed look as his eyes watched as her muscles starched along with her.

"Miroku lets go.to sleep." She yawned again sounding sleepy and then began to walk to the hut with Miroku stumbling behind her.

Kagome stood up and walked to where Inuyasha was sitting or...below where he was sitting due to the fact he was lounged in a tree.

"Good night Inuyasha." She felt bad for what she was going to do...but she felt so dirty having that food in her stomach.

"Feh" He muttered and then closed his eyes geting ready to fall in to a dream world probley where Kikyo is like all over him or something.

Letting out a sigh of defeat she turned and walked the same path Sango and Miroku took not to long ago.

"Good night Kagome." Came a soft mumble from the tree she was under.

She looked up to find him still with his eyes closed, the moon gave her just enough light to see the pink shade on his cheeks. She smiled lightly and made her way into the hut.

_So...what are you going to do?_ The voice asked impatiently.

'Give me a few minutes i want them all to be asleep.' She laid down on top of her sleeping bag, her eyes staring up at the roof.

She had seen it in a movie once and it seemed to work...so she was going to try it...what wrong with trying new things?.

When she was sure everyone including Inuyasha were asleep she quietly as possible climbed out of the hut her eyes drifted to the tree where the man she loved was sleeping in.

'I'm sorry Inuyasha.' She thought and herd the voice laughing at her.

With a deep breath the girl sprinted into the forest.

Her feet slapped against the wet grass and accidentally she slipped and fell on to her backside.

"What better place then here." She muttered digging her fingers into the wet earth she began to dig a small whole.

_Awe I see! But really Kagome there's nothing bad about skipping on or two meals. _Was it her or was the voice trying to sound nice...if it was it was doing a pretty crummy job at it.

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Two purple eyes fluttered open and his hand reached up to rub his sore nose. "Got to go pee." He slurd his words as he untangled himself from the love of his life and stumbled out of the sleeping bag he and Sango shared.

To bad he didn't notice the empty sleeping bag that sat in the corner.

He made his way through the forest searching for a place to do his business.

The sound of gagging caught his eye and he drifted into the direction of the noise. As he got closer he noticed a bush standing in he line of sight covering what he was looking for.

Moving the bush out of the way he muttered a few word and froze when he looked up and seen what exactly he was looking for.

There sat Kagome purging into a little hole in the ground with her finger stuffed down her throat. see though tears rain down her cheeks.

"Ka..Kagome?" He was stunned...something was weird about this...

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She felt tears flow down her face like a river, her eyes screwed shut in shame. Her throat burnt and a bitter taste could be tasted on her tongue.

No more came out of her and to a relief she removed her finger from her mouth and whiped the tears from her eyes...she felt better now that she got the food out of her system.

Quickly she raked the dirt over the hole and wiped more tears from her eyes.

"Ka...Kagome?" A shocked voice whispered behind her.

Slowly she turned to face the person who saw her dirty secret hoping that it wasn't Inuyasha.

There stood a dumbstruck Miroku his eyes as wide a saucers "Miro..Miroku?"She looked away in shame.

Oh god he saw, he saw, he's going to tell Inuyasha its all over!

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Cliffy!!! Heh im so horrible sorry if this chapter wasnt very good...i tryed to have some Kagome inuyasha fluff in here... . Any who 5 reviews and then i update. so R&R 


	3. Lies

Hey You all sorry for the delay kinda got sidetracked, but yeah i just wanted to say...i love you all...i asked for like 5 and got like 18. I LOVE YOU ALL!!!! Anyways i hope you like this chapter.

Lady KCassandra: LOL No way would i end it on the second chapter...if i were a reader I'd be like..."HOLLY hell you ruined the story" Heh i dont want people doing that...lol.

dark hanyou kagome: Oh heavens yes there will be love in this story i myself LOVE Inu/kag pairing so thats what is going to be in this story along with Mir/San.

Dragonham: OMG Thank you so much...im glad you like it so much bows really that made me wanna update sooner.

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Disclaimer: Ugh ill never own something so beautiful...how sad.

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Perfect

By Pepperikeys

Chapter 3

Lies

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_Blinded by negative words_

_The voice demands she begin to purge_

_To bad she could never fight the urge._

_-Stephanie (kinda bad)_

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_At that moment i was ashamed. Ashamed at the fact i got caught, ashamed of what i got caught doing but most of all i was ashamed at the fact i was going to lie._

_I wish i could go back in time, get myself out of the burning hell i had entered, tell myself to just ignore the voices lies, i wish i could tell myself that it would be WAY over my head._

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Blue eyes met striking violets, those eyes that held confusion and concern.

The trees around the two swayed back and forth in the crisp winter air, the silver moon dimmed as a cloud covered it, only to return seconds later.

"Kagome?" His voice was but a whisper. His clothes rustled swiftly as he stepped from the bush.

"Please dont tell Inuyasha, Miroku please." Her eyes snapped shut in a silent pray 'Please agree, oh please agree.'

"Are you alright Kagome? You dont look so good." He looked at her sleepily almost in a daze. His black hair was slightly rugged and nappy from sleep and his movements were jerky.

_Lie, your good at it!_

"I'm just...not really feeling well Miroku its nothing big." Her midnight blue eyes drifted to her feet, ether in shame or the fear of him seeing the truth in her eyes. "I dont want Inuyasha to worry about me, he has enough to worry about anyways." She added.

She dug the tip of her shoe into the soft ground creating a crescent in the earths dirt. 'I dont know what to do anymore..." She didn't feel like herself anymore she felt more like a doll then anything.

Miroku let out a loud yawn, his left hand quickly raised and tried to smother the sound. His eyes searched around before returning to her.

"Oh i understand, but i do get the feeling you are keeping something from me." He raised a black eyebrow almost as if he were expecting her to just come out with what he was wondering.

She stood there staring at him with a blank face. She was tired and really wanted to go to sleep, but she wanted to make sure that this little "Incident" stayed between the two of them and she would stay up as long as it took to make sure that happened.

"I wont tell him ok, if that's what you want i mean." He said interrupting her thoughts.

Ok so that wasn't so hard. She knobbed her head at him and flashed him a smile, it was a fake smiled but that didn't matter as long as they all believed it then it was fine.

_Your so stupid! You almost got caught, god you should be more careful next time!_

'Im sorry i didn't know he was there. Your right i should be more careful.' She tilted her head down in disappointment as she slowly dragged her feet passed Miroku, stopping long enough to mutter a thank you.

"Now why was i out here again?" Miroku asked himself taping his finger on his chin in thought. "Oh yes nature calls." With that he stumbled further into the forest.

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Strands of black hair flowed in the wind as the young girl jogged back to camp, her feet hit the ground with a soft thump, sometimes splashing into a small rain puddle as she went. It was winter which ment it was beginning to rain some but soon that would be replaced by snow, wasn't that exciting?

She needed to get back to camp before a certain golden eyed boy found her missing from her sleeping bag, if he did discover she was gone all hell would brake loose.

_You may have got caught and all but your idea was smart, i give you credit for that. _ The voice praised

She didn't know no whether to be grateful for the voice or disturbed. Didn't people say that hearing voiced was a sign of insanity? Even people in feudal Japan know that. Was she going crazy? There were so many question un answered.

'Who..._what_ are you?' She asked the voice in her head.

Hearing voices in your head were bad but actually talking back to them must be worse. Maybe she was crazy...it was a possibility right?

_Come on "Kags" have you no figured it out yet?_

Kags, that was the nick name her father used to use before...before he you know 'left'. Ever sense then she would never let anyone call her that and if they did she would have a fit over it saying something about never hearing that come out of anyone's lips but her loved fathers.

She herd the voice sigh in her head almost sadly.

_Im you, get the point your me and im you...well kinda im that voice you hear in the back of your head when you cant decide something or something like that, ether way im you. _

Its words made sense to her. She knobbed her head in understanding.

She let out a breath and watched a puff of white smoke flout from her mouth. It was beginning to get colder.

She had finally made it back to camp, and before Inuyasha woke up to.

She began tip toeing over to the laid out sleeping bag quietly so she wouldn't wake up the hanyou from his light sleep which he didn't get often.

She slowly made her way to the tree Inuyasha was sleeping in, Her Blue eyes drifted up towards one of the highest branches were he usually sleeps.

As expected a glimpse of red could be seen high above,. She looked at his face which looked slack and innocent as he slept.

Her eyes lingered on his face a bit longer, before they slide further up landing on a pair of fluffy white dog ears.

_You know Kagome, he's really REALLY hot._

Her eyes slanted at the voices comment slightly blushing due to the fact she agreed with the voice.

With a shake of her head she began working the muscles in her legs again and walked past the tree still on her toes. Kaede's hut was only a few feet away from her.

She let out a sigh as she walked up the 2 or 3 steps of the hut, not noticing the two glowing gold eyes as they watched her.

Once she was in the hut she walked to her rolled out sleeping bag that was currently occupied by a small ball of furry also known as Shippo.

Dropping down onto her knees beside the bag with a thump as her skin hit the wood below her. She reached out her small slime hand and unzipped the sleeping bag.

She lazily slid her long legs into the warmth of the cotton inside she let out a sigh of pleaser, finally getting a brake from the bitter cold wind

"Where did you go?" Her head snapped in the direction the voice came from.

Standing there in the door way was Inuyasha, his arms tucked into the sleeves of his kimono top in a gruff jester, his feet crossed at his ankles as he leaded against the side of the wall for support. His silver hair was highlighted by the moons bright shine giving him a angelic look and his eyes seemed to glow in the dark as they looked at her.

_I repeat he is really hot...wait take that back he is sexy!_

Kagome ignored the voice but still couldn't stop the blush from gracing her cheeks 'She's right, he is.' she thought.

She turned her head away in embarrassment. She shouldn't be thinking that way.

"Where were you Kagome?" He stepped towards her sleeping bag.

"Bathroom?" She didn't mean for it to sound like a question, that's just how it came out.

Mentally she kicked herself for the slip up.

Inuyasha glanced at her with a longing look. 'What i would give to be with her, but then there's Kikyo and everything else there's no way.' His hands formed fists in anger, and he closed his eyes trying to block out the pain that seemed to enter his heart.

"Inuyasha, i went to the bathroom." She repeated slightly tilting her head. 'He seems like he was in deep thought.'

Inuyasha blinked his eyes open before shaking of his thoughts. "Yeah i herd you the first time, wench." He lifted his nose into the air and took a sniff at it.

The scent of cherry blossoms and lavender drifted into his nose along with the scent of wood, Shippo, and another scent that he recognized.

It was a lie, that was the other scent he was getting from her 'She's lying?' He took another sniff at the air, yeah..it was still there.

"Alright Kagome sure." He looked down at her, his eyes set on her pale face "Night." He muttered before pulling his gaze from her face and turning to leave.

Her slim arm snapped out fast and gripped his arm firmly, Inuyasha's golden eyes flashed to the door slightly before he stubbornly turned his gaze over his shoulder.

Kagome focused on the ground in front of her, why had she done that? nervously she gnawed at her bottom lip.

Her black hair flowed crossed her face creating a curtain around her and her grip tighten slightly. "Inuyasha?" His ears turned towards her trying to catch her soft words.

"I dont feel well, i feel sick." She tilted her head to the side slightly clearing her vision. "Can you please stay with me, in here? Just for to night." She added still gripping his wrist.

The hanyou gave a slow knob before slipping behind her in the sleeping bag. He moved her so that her ear was placed above his heart, and sat with his back against the wall. His lips parted as he sighed contently.

It was warm and she was surrounded by his scent of rain forest and something else muscular. Maybe she wasn't Kikyo, but still she could do this with him.

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Miroku strolled back into camp, humming a strange tune. Yup what a happy monk he was.

He quickly walked into his own hut and slid under the large sleeping bag next to Sango.

Smiling down at his wife gently, he leaned over and placed a soft kiss on the forehead of his sleeping love. "Sleep well my love, see you in the morning." With that he laid down and drifted off to join her in dream land.

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The next morning the group woke up and gathered around the fire.

Inuyasha was the first to wake up and out of boredom he rudely woke up the monk, who groan out a slurred objection.

Shortly after miroku woke up Kaede awakened and began cooking there morning meal.

followed by Sango and Kagome who woke in a grumpy mood.

Now the four sat around a fire waiting for the food to be done. "Kagome!" Came a high pitched voice from inside the hut.

"Were outside Shippo!" She called back as she stared into the fire.

The small boy ran out of the hut and took the empty set next to the young miko.

Kaede grabbed a few wooded bowls and filled them with stew. "The food is ready, ye all should eat." She announced handing the filled bowls to the group.

"That's nice Kaede, but im not hungry." Kagome said when she was handed a bowl, her gaze remand on the fire but she let a small smile grace her lips in a slight thanks.

'She's lying again, i can smell it shes starving.' Inuyasha thought as he stared at her strangely.

Letting out a sigh Kagome glared deeper into the fire.

_Let the lies begin_ The voice teased gaining another sigh from the black haired girl.

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Uhhhh yeah not a very good chapter at all...but think of it as a filter it'll help me get back on track so like...ill be updating in about 2-3 days with a better one i promise so dont be disappointed with the story. Any who please keep reading and review! 5 reviews and i update.!! Well TTFN. BYE!!!


	4. Insanity

Yeah so i was writing this chapter a few minutes ago then my computer crashed and now im writing it again...im not happy about that but yeah im doing it for you people. Why? Because i love you all. 

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Perfect

By: Pepperikeys

Chapter 4

Insanity

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_In the beginning it never bothered me that i was hearing a voice in my head, Hey maybe i thought of the voice as my best friend or something. That's a laugh._

_I guess i know now that if i did tell someone i was hearing voices in my head they would call me crazy fast...i mean even i questioned my own sanity._

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Her feelings she hides

Her dreams she can't find

She's losing her mind

She's falling behind

She can't find her place

She's losing her faith

She's falling from grace

She's all over the place.

(- Lyrics from Broken inside.)

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About 4 days have passed since the incident with Miroku.

_Are you hungry Kagome?_

Not once has she eaten sense then, and the only time she did was in front of Inuyasha, but she never lets it stay in her long enough to digest.

It was like a reflex to her now; ever time food goes past her lips it would come back up 5 minutes later.

Yes, was what she wanted to say.

"No." is the answer that came out.

She pulled her bottom lip into her mouth with her teeth and began chewing on it gently.

Her stomach felt like it was eating itself, but for some twisted reason she enjoyed the feeling.

She lowered her head down and glared at the dirt path they walked on.

She was walking alone behind all her friends quietly, lost in her own crazy world.

Two days ago Inuyasha claimed that they were falling behind and needed to search for the shards, which she translated to " We need to find the shards and perhaps we will run into my undead ex girlfriend." Yeah her mind was a cruel place.

A strong burst of wind brushed over the girls covered legs.

Instead of wearing the sweat clothes she now wore a pair of baggy dark blue jeans with holes ripped into both knees and a loose long-sleeved black turtleneck.

Her stomach churned painfully, in response she snapped her eyes closed and bit her bottom lip slightly harder to silent the grunt in her throat.

She must be crazy because she was ok with starving herself and forcing herself to purge still knowing it is unhealthy, not to mention she was beginning to love the feeling of having an empty stomach.

_Come on Kagome you know you're starving._

She looked down at her feet, which were covered in black and white converses. "Just shut up." She muttered to the voice out loud.

Long strands of silver hair fluttered softly like a light feather in the wind as the male hanyou turned his head to glance at the raven-haired beauty.

There was something wrong with her, he just didn't know what.

She has barely spoken two words to any of them for the passed 4 days. It was like she was always locked away in her mind or something weird like that.

Secretly he really missed her company. Hell she was right there in front of him, but he still feels like he hasn't seen her for so long.

His eyes drifted over her pale white face.

It looked like she was glaring at the dirt path in front of her, but he knew she was stuck in her mind again, oh what he would give to be able to read her mind.

His eyes seemed to drift to her clothes that have recently changed in style.

She no longer wore short skirts, or skirts at all. Now she wore baggy pants she calls "jeans" or pants made out of cotton that stopped a little below her knee or some weird pair of pants made of jean or cotton that are covered in those pocket things.

Even her shirts changed, she wears weird long sleeved shirts that are kinda baggy on her, and if she ever wore a short sleeved shirt she would wear a thin jacket with it.

He noticed how her hair was held in a high pony tail at the moment, he decided he likes it that way, gives him a better view of her beautiful midnight blue eyes.

He watched her a bit longer, watched as she chewed her bottomed lip and silently kicked rocks out of her path, watched as she mumbled to herself.

A smile crept over his features when he saw her own lips curve up slightly.

'She's smiling.' He thought to himself.

He would talk to her again sometime today, he just need to wait for the right time. With that thought he turned and focused on the road ahead.

_He's staring at you._

A shy smile formed on her lips slowly. 'I know, i can feel his stare.' She told the voice.

_Why the hell are you happy?_

'Huh?' She asked as she kicked another rock out of her path.

_Look, you know the only reason he would ever look at you like that is ether he's thinking about Kikyo, or trying to figure out how to get rid of you._

She stuffed her hands deep into her pant pockets sadly, and bit her lip harder at the comment thinking that it was true.

She hissed in pain when her teeth cut into the soft flesh causing her mouth to fill with the taste of copper. 'Damnit.' She thought to herself angrily.

The scent of blood filled Inuyasha's sensitive nose, the bloods scent only belonged to one person.

"Kagome?" He whispered turning fully around to face her.

He watched her bring her hand up slowly to her bottom lip and wiped it side ways smudging it on the left side of her lip.

There was a flash of red and silver that appeared in front of her.

**Kagome's POV**

It's weird how only one guy can make me feel like this. Like my blood was on fire or something.

His calloused thumb lightly trailed on my bottom lip wiping away the blood coming from the cut in my mouth.

I swear i could almost feel my heart beat out of my cheast at that very moment.

I stood there stiffly counting down the seconds until he would pull his hand away in disgust; maybe he's mistaking me for Kikyo again.

"How did you bit your lip so hard wench?" He asked gruffly, his thumb still lightly carresing my bottom lips.

I felt like crying, he didn't love me, the voice told me so and its right, he loves Kikyo and he keeps me around because i "look" like her.

And look at me, im noting like her, not at all.

She so much better then ill ever be, or ever hope to be.

Look i haven't eaten in 4 days and i still cant stop thinking about food...i want to eat but im so tarrified of gaining a pound.

I stare at him and we both seem to get caught in each other's eyes. Well i guess i get stuck in his but its onesided.

"I bit it." I wispered glancing at the dirt ground.

"Keh." Thats all he said, but still his hand stayed there on my lips, it made me feel...warm inside.

I watched as his golden eyes drifted down and landed on my lips and lingered on them for awhile before he started lowering his head further down towreds mine.

_Stop him, he must think your Kikyo, you dont decerve a kiss from him._

The voices words hurt but they were true, so what else could i do?

"I'm not Kikyo, Inuyasha stop." It hurt even more to say those words.

I closed my eyes scared to look him in the face.

I felt him stiff up and pull back as if i slapped him or something, i dont know why but i felt bad about it.

Maybe hes feeling disgusted with himself for almost kissing me, of all people, i mean i'd be disgusted to if i were about to kiss myself.

I clampped my eyes shut harder, not sure if it was from fear or hurt, i think im going to say its from hurt.

It hurts my heart too much to think that when he looks at me, it's not me hes looking at; it's his presions Kikyo.

I love him so much, but he doesnt care, which is why ill never be able to tell him.

I'm repulsing, fat, ugly, never good enough, just not perfect.

Unlike Kikyo.

Oh god some time i wounder why he does this to me, does he not know how i feel? Can he not see it? Does he even care?

I feel tears form in my closed eyes, but i try to resist releasing them.

I hate him.

I hate him.

I hate him.

I chant to myself over and over.

I hate him.

I hate him.

I try to hate him.

I really do.

I hate him for making me feel like this.

I hate him for all the pain i have to deal with.

I hate him for driving me to this point.

I hate him for so many things.

But most of all i hate him for making me fall in love with him.

I love him.

I love him for all the things i hate him for.

I stand still like a statue in front of him, and i feel something wet run down my cold cheek.

'I Love him.'

It must be raining now; my face is not dripping in the wetness.

'Why do i love him?'

My eyes are still thightly closed, so tightly it hurts.

'He does all this to me, causes me so much pain, all because im not pefect enough for him, all because im not her.'

I feel so alone most of the time now, i want it to be like that sometimes... But mostly i dont want to be alone.

_You're never alone Kagome._

The voice is the closest thing i have to a best friend at the moment...sorry Sango.

I wonder if its possible to get stuck in your mind, to crawl into a safe cornor in there somewhere.

I want to bit my lip again, but it hurts.

A hand touches my face and wipes away some of the wetness, only it gets replaced with more wetness.

I finaly open my eyes and they meet with a pair of concered gold ones. I bring my hand up to my face, and look up into the sky, which is becoming dark.

It is not raining, but i am crying.

I wipe away the tear angerily with the back of my palm and then weet his eyes again.

"Kagome." He wisperes softly to me.

It hurts inside.

_Hate to say i told ya so._

I feel sick, like purging but theres nothing in there to get out.

He turns his head and looks at Miroku and Sango who are standing next to each othe with Shippo in between.

"We camp here." Inuyasha says looking back at me.

I try to smile at him, im sure it's a broken smile though. "I-I Im sorry about that." He looks at me sadly his silver dog ears drop slightly.

Later on that night Inuyasha had us all eat ramen, including me.

I eat it as fast as i can trying not to thing of the carbs and fat etc, but i still played with it.

Inuyasha told me that he was sorry for the thing that happened earilyer, i smiled and nobbed but inside i was braking again.

Inuyasha never took his eyes off me, his stare was intense and...warm, im glad yet confused, i should ask the voice about it.

Later that night after diner and after ever one was asleep (i made sure of it.) I sneacked out a little from the camp and dug myself a hole with my hands.

So that's where i am now, on my hands and knees, kneeling over a self made hole in the ground with my finger down my throat heaving into the hole with tears streaming down my cheeks like rivers.

For the passed 5 days i have been spirling deeper into something i never delt with, and i now have to question, am i sain? Perhaps insanity is somthing i should search up and see for myself...

But for now im my mind i am sain and dont need help, i could care less about the out side world.

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Ok... So yeah i dont think its that good but ok, anywho please keep reading and please remember R&R So till next time BYE Remeber 5 reviews. 


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